The Doctor in Scrubs
by Tygersprite
Summary: Something's a little out of this world at Sacred Heart. Can the new nameless British Doctor take care of it? Or will they all drive each other crazy?
1. We've Got Rainbow Fever!

N/A: Welcome all! I would just like to state there are TWO authors to this story. Myself & ScarletGirl (originally she was planning on her pen name being Scarlet Thunder but some mean face stole that name!) So if you notice a change in style, its that! We try to smooth it over!

The Doctor in Scrubs

Chapter one: We've got Scarlet fever!

It was an average day at Sacred Heart Hospital. Eliot was fussing with her eyebrows. Carla was checking the nurse schedule. JD and Turk were trying to teach Rowdy, their stuff dog, how to play basketball, and Doctor Cox was sitting in the break room with Bob Kelso, watching the news. A news program came on about a famous hospital in London that supposedly was zapped to the moon and back by a herd of space rhinos.

"Well how 'bout that, Bob." Doctor Cox scuffed, "A bunch of pathetic doctors with fancy accents fake a supernatural event to just cover up the fact they happen to suck at their jobs."

Bob shrugged, "I wouldn't say that. I happen to know they are a decent teaching hospital just like Sacred Heart. (The word decent caused Dr. Cox to laugh) And the publicity was great for the hospital. If I was still in charge, I might try the same thing."

"Well then we are lucky I am still in charge," Dr. Cox replied crossing his arms. Ted walked in, looking sweaty. "Sir, it's looking like we are going to be sued again. There is this patient, and I'm pretty sure he's blue now and he wasn't when he came in."

"Ted," Dr. Cox said, raising his eyebrows. "First don't call sir. Reserve that for this pompous ass that is Bob Kelso. And second, what do you mean you think he's blue?"

"Well I am not sure. Maybe he's more a violet? I'm not very good at judging colors. I think it has something to do with the fact that being around people I don't know makes me nervous so I tend not to look at them."

"Wells that's good, Ted because let me tell you they don't like looking at you either. Now show me this blue man." Dr. Cox remarked, leaving the room followed by the sweaty lawyer. They gathered into a small hospital room. "Dr. Dorian, tell me what's going on."

"Well, Dr. Cox," JD said in the most professional voice he could muster, "This man is blue." They both turned to the patient. An elderly British man, a Mr. Washington peered back at them through over sized glasses. "And let me just say, it's a love shade of blue too. Turk, doesn't he match my eyes?"

Turk nodded, "Hey Mr. Washington, I gotta song for you, I am blue da ba dee, da ba die!"

"Oh Dr. Cox thank God you're here." Carla crossed her arms, "these two idiots are useless. And normally I'd have Elliot take a look, but she's in private practice so it would cost the hospital money to ask her." Dr. Cox, nodded, and turned to look at Mr. Washington. He reached for his stethoscope. Pressing the device against the patience chest, Dr. Cox was suddenly shocked by a blue wave that came from the patient, throwing him backwards causing him to hitting the wall. The staff stared down at little old Mr. Washington, whose body was now rippling with electric waves. He let out a gurgling scream, "Call the doctor!" before bursting into flames.

"What- does he think we aren't competent enough to tell him he's on fire?" Kelso asked, face turning to his 'Dangerously Angry' one. "I didn't go to medical school for half my adult life to be told by some damn blue man that my skills assessing his problems aren't adequate!"

"I think there are more important matters at hand then your incompetence, Bob!" Carla shouted, running out of the room to grab a fire extinguisher from the hall. "Stand back!" she warned, reappearing in the doorway. Pulling the pin out, she aimed the hose at the hospital bed. A jet of foam shot out the end of the extinguisher, putting out any fire there was in the room.

"That's my wife!" Turk yelled, jumping up and down in happiness."You da man baby!"

"Doctor….. help…..," the blue man moaned from the bed.

"Oh God, he's still alive!" Carla said, rushing to the bedside. "Quick, JD, I need your help stabilizing this man!"

JD put on his serious face and got to the doctoring. Turk rushed out; the patient had third degree burns, and would need skin grafts soon. Dr. Cox leaned over Mr. Washington. He ran his hands through his hair, leaning his head on his arms

"Carla... He's gone." Carla looked up from cleaning the wounds,

"What? No-he can't be!" She looked over to the little old man and gasped. All the staff gasped. Slowly the man's body disintegrated into sand. Blue sand.

"Well I don't know what happened, but I am sure I'm going to be sued for it." Ted moped.

"I got a new Clorox product that could get those stains out beautifully," The Janitor said, appearing out of nowhere, surprising the staff. Everyone was a little on edge from the incident, and Janitor's surprises were not welcomed. He caused Ted to faint.

"Great, someone get Ted into a chair please?" Carla rolled her eyes.

"If I weren't married to Turk and JD, I'd be a little more concerned that this man just burst into flames and disintegrated into blue sand. But, with the stuffed dog in the TV room and the toilet on the roof, nothing seems out of place anymore."

"Well Turkleton needs made aware that the grafts are no longer needed, and I need a large coffee," Kelso said, stepping over Ted to leave the room. "Nobody call me if things get worse."

"So, should I grab a mop?" the Janitor asked, unfazed.

Carla turned towards the Janitor, "How could be so insensitive, a man just died... And then turned into... sand."

"Just doing my job. Plus I was thinking putting the sand in to a jar. It'd be all decorative-y and stuff."

Carla rolled her eyes as Elliot peeked in, "Hey whats everyone doing? Why is there sand, are you guys having a mini-beach party? That reminds me of one time in Fort Myers my brother Barry decided to write his name in the sand using the flavoring stuff they put in snow cones. long story short, the police don't like it when you steal from their favorite slushy stand. Although Barry did meet his current boyfriend there."

"Elliot," Carla said, crossing her arms, "That sand was a patient."

Elliot looked to the sand then back at her best friend, "Oh, that's kinda neat. Did the morgue like mix his ashes in dyed sand? I should do that. In, like, pink though. That shade of blue makes me a little bloaty."

Dr. Cox, who was boggled over this current situation closes his eyes and took a deep breath in and turned to Elliot. "First of all, Barbie, all shades of every color make you look bloaty. That is, of course, because you are slightly bloated today. And second, Barbie, the sand is not a result of some new hip and cool way to be dead, because frankly the dead are, well, dead and don't care how bloaty you look. What is lying in that hospital bed was a patient, who, somehow remarkably, turned into sand."

"You think I'm fat?" Elliot sniffed.

"You're fine, baby." Carla said patting her on the arms now, "What now Dr. Cox?" The man rubbed at the stubble on his chin.

"I've never seen anything like this before."

"I have," said Janitor, "In the room next-door."

Dr. Cox gripped the window, and closed his eyes "Then I know that to do. The hospital is in lock down."

"Oh my God, you can't put us into lockdown Dr. Cox! I have a date tonight!" Elliot whined. "And I have the perfect dress for it to. Its black, so I won't look bloaty."

"It's fine Elliot, I'm sure nothing is the matter." Carla reassured her friend. "Did I hear the word 'Lock down'?" Turk asked, popping back into the room.

"That's actually two words" JD answered. "And yes."

"Oh, that what I'm talking about! I can finally have that fort building contest in the On Call rooms! Oh and someone down the hall just turned into violet sand." He added as an afterthought.

"You didn't think to say that first?" Cox yelled, storming from the room. "Barbie, you're with me!" he motioned to JD over his shoulder.

After an hour or two, the hospital was set into lock down mode, in an attempt to settle the sand epidemic. For now six people in a variety of colors where in containment, while specialists were examining them. The staff of the hospital were examined, and all were found to lack the symptoms of the disease now demeaned 'Rainbow Fever' (An extremely high fever being the main symptom) and were now free to wander about. JD and Turk had been planning a lock down party since the last time they were forcibly confined to the hospital, and quickly acted on it.

"Okay, Todd you can't come in the fort of awesomeness-slash-ghetto fever if you're not wearing pants." JD was lying on his stomach, leaning his head in his hands. The On call room had become a fort with the help of several unused mattresses. The door was now a narrow tunnel in which someone had to crawl through in order to get in. JD was positioned in that hallway staring at the unfortunate sight of Todd in his underwear. "Well since I heard it was a sleep over, I wanted to be comfortable." The Todd replied.

"Put some clothes on!" the Janitor told Todd ad he approached the room. He turned to JD, "Let me in." "Why would I let you in? It's my fort of awesome!" "Slash Ghetto-Fever!" added Turk from inside the room. "

This, your pathetically named fort, would be a perfect place to hide in case of a zombie invasion. Zombies can't crawl."

JD laughed, "Zombies could just rip through the mattress."

"Last month I switched all the old mattresses with ones reinforced with steel. Oh, and the fabric is a new military fabric that is stronger than iron."

JD rubbed his back, "I was wondering why they were so uncomfortable."

"You're discomfort is just a bonus, now let me in."


	2. Coffee Coffee Coffee!

N/A: Well thank you people who decided to come back for chapter two! You're subbing to the story and one review inspired Scar and I to keep writing! Thanks.

In the T.A.R.D.I.S hundreds of years in the future, and light years away from Earth, the Doctor was jolted awake from his slumber. When he had fallen asleep he couldn't remember, but asleep he had been. An alarm was blaring from the control room upstairs, so he rushed up the stairs to see what was wrong. If the alarms where going off, something alarming was happening. "No no no no no!" he shouted, reaching the computer screen, which was telling him something he hoped it would not; another case of Rainbow fever had broken out in 2010. That and his coffee maker had been set for PM rather than AM and there was no coffee around to drink. Today the world was going to get help from a very grumpy man.

"Perry!" Jordan could be heard stomping down the hall. She stopped short of her ex-husband at the coffee Machine, "Why can't I leave, I am late for my lipo appointment!"

Dr. Cox poured himself a cup of coffee before he responded. "Well, Jordan, I suppose you could get the fat sucked out of you and risk infected the whole world including our children, or you could stay her and grab a celery stick." His ex-wife looked at him, before smacking the coffee cup out of his hand. The hospital chief just shrugged and poured himself another cup. "Ah, fresh coffee!"

A strange man in a bow tie cruised past, grabbing the cup. Dr. Cox crossed his arms, and followed him down the hall, "Who are you?"

With out missing a beat or turning around, the bow tied man responded, "I'm the doctor, and I am here to fix the problem."

"The problem, Sir, is that Perry here has a stick up his ass!" Jordan said, storming out of the room.

The man gave a smile. "It looks like I'm not the only grumpy one today!"

Cox asked, slightly angered at the appearance of this mysterious man, "Who are you?"

"The Doctor."

"Not one I know about. The last time I checked you didn't work here, and you weren't a patient here. This facility is on lockdown. HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?" Cox asked, frustrated not only with this strange man, but with everything in general.

"The cafeteria I believe." The Doctor answered, following Jordan out of the break room. "Now I hear you have a breakout of 'Rainbow Fever'.?"

"Hey Dr. Cox, there is this blue thing in the Cafeteria labeled police box." JD said, "I thought it was part of the brain trust's play, but Ooh! Nice bow tie!"

The Doctor smiled, "Ah, yes. Bow ties are cool." He reached in his pocket, pulling out his psychic paper, "As you see, I'm a rare disease expert."

JD and Dr. Cox squinted down at the paper. "Oh!" JD clapped, "You're a card carrying member of the tandem bike club too?"

Dr Cox squinted, staring at JD, "What are you talking about, Shandra, Its blank!"

The Doctor looked at his paper then to Cox, "Well, you don't believe in much, do you?"

"Get to the point Nancy Boy. You show up in the middle of a lock down with fake transcripts and expect me to play along with your little game?" Cox asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Nancy Boy? Well actually I am a Rainbow Fever expert; I've cured five cases of it in the last few weeks. You can see now why I was so very upset when I was rudely awakened this morning; I thought I had finally rid the planet of that blasted disease! You humans and your willingness to mate with strange life forms!"

Cox looked the strange man up and down, head to toe, and grimaced at the suspenders. "Are you leading me believe that you're not human?"

"Absolutely!" the Doctor said, grabbing Cox's stethoscope from around his neck. "Here, have a listen. I've got two hearts!" Normally he wouldn't admit to this so easily, but like Shakespeare, Dr. Cox wouldn't believe anything but the truth. Even then its a tough sell.

"Can I listen too?" JD asked, popping up between the two of them. "I've never met an alien before. Your heart beat sounds like the lion king!" JD then began to sing The Circle of life till whacked upside the head by Dr. Cox

"Get a hold of yourself, Brandi, he's not an alien." Dr. Cox scoffed; despite the two heart beats, he was still unwilling to believe. Disease made sense, aliens did not.

"I wonder what it's like to travel in space." JD tilted his head up into the sky, in-visioning himself flying in the stars with rowdy, shouting "Eagle!" Returning to Earth he uttered, "And Turk's head would be a comet!"

The Doctor's eyes widened in surprised, "You know the Turkle comets? You must be familiar with the Great Moon of Poosh, then?"

"Oh yes! Moon Poosh Shampoo is responsible for this" JD gestured to his hair.

"Ah, yes," The Doctor said, "I forget humans have their silly little names." He clapped his hands, "Well enough of that, let's get to the curing shall we!" He walked along the hallway, followed by JD and Cox, "now let me explain, Rainbow Fever is similar to what you call a STD. It's contracted through, well, ahem, but it's not viral, it's actually a parasite. It's commonly used as bio-chemical war fare by more advanced species in the future."

"Future?" Dr. Cox Scoffed, "First your an alien, and now you're from the future?"

"Please hold all questions till the end." The doctor replied, "And like I was saying, how it got to this time I have no idea. But for now, we cure it."And with that he stuck and lime green woman with a pin, turning her to Orange. He raised an eyebrow, "Ah, the spray tan."

"I like to tan," Elliot said, power walking into the room.

"We can tell, Barbie," Dr. Cox replied, "and when you die of skin cancer, well, I hope I am still around to laugh."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "What a pleasant man you are." Turning to Elliot, "Hi, I'm a doctor, and I am here to save the world. So, Barbie, was it? Where is the nearest rainbow fever patient?"

"Um, down the hall, but my name really isn't Bar-"

"Toddles," he said, jumping over the bed and racing into the next room.

"What's going on?" the patient in the room asked, his chartreuse face containing a look of terror.

"I'm the doctor and I'm here to cure you." Pricking this patient as well, the doctor continued. "You're all better now, but I suggest you refrain from ogling the foreigners next time. Trans-galactic parasites are an awful thing to pick up from a one night stand with Babs down at the bar. Next time get to know the girl. Make sure she doesn't have a tail first."

While the doctor worked the staff had some down time. Jordan crossed her arms, "The alien is pretty cute, in a dorky sort of way. I wonder if I can use him to get back at Perry..."

"Revenge high five!" The Todd stuck his hand up in the air.

"I am not high-fiving you!" Jordan snapped, "I don't know where your hand has been."

"I'll bite." replied a smooth talking man. He smiled, a bit of a naughty glimmer in his eyes. He was followed by several women, and another man looking very confused an annoyed. "Oy, where is the Doctor?" said Micky. "Every time that bugger gets a new face, he gets even testier!"

"Oh, hush up now!" snapped Rose, "He's just saving the world is all."

N/A: Don't worry, we will provide an explanation to why rose is here.

However my co-writer and I are having some issues with characters personalties. Please tell you how we are. Review please!

Love

Ty


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